All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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