Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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