so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
