If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
