White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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