this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
