with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
