woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
