to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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