He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
