New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
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