Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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