i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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