I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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