nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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