worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
