he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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