I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
