what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
