sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think your dad took our porno
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
