Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
