I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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