I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
