I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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