You just made me feel so damn special
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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