He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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