i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
