I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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