Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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