all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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