I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
