I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
