I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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