it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
