She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
