woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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