It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
