You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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