worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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