Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
