I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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