Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
