I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
