3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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