Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
