can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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