I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
