I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
