i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
