i think i have two assholes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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